🦋 thoughts on OCD, mindfulness & german new medicine 🦋

A few nights ago, I found myself matching what I considered to be two right-foot socks and actually joked in my head about that being “reckless”….

I’ve identified with OCD most of my life, and lately been trying to further analyze what’s really happening inside my head when I feel I’m letting compulsive thoughts take control. It seems these moments always coincide with a pretty extreme lack of presence.

With working to build self-awareness in addition to learning the foundations of German New Medicine, this question has crossed my mind in regard to OCD: if everything we experience inside ourselves is within our control, don’t we have power over a ‘condition’ like this?

OCD of course varies greatly in intensity—and in some cases is extremely disruptive to day to day life. However, I think most people I know would say they have minor compulsions that go so far as to disturb their thoughts, although usually harmless. I think, to some extent, our control over thought patterns like these is dependent on where we choose to place our attention, and our ability—or lack thereof to ground ourselves in our own being and the present moment, away from future anxieties or imagined discomforts.

Learning of German New Medicine through the work of Dr. Melissa Sell has greatly shifted my thoughts around what exactly is the cause of everything we experience within our minds and bodies. For a long time, I have instinctually considered the emotional roots of physical symptoms and believed these were the foundation of all dis-ease. GNM has brought me much more clarity on this, and introduced to me the idea that all dis-ease doesn’t necessarily come from emotions, but rather our conscious or subconscious perception of our experience. This means, for example, it’s not the fast food you ate the other day that’s going to make your skin break out...it’s your belief that it will—the message to your system that you’ve let in something ‘dirty’ that causes a protective reaction within your sebaceous glands....It’s the messages you (sub)consciously send to your body that trigger its responses, ultimately rooted in evolutionary protection & survival.

A condition like OCD is interesting to think about from this perspective because clearly, it’s within our conscious experience—it’s a psychological state—rather than a physical symptom manifesting from consciousness…And yet, I’m inclined to think this way and ask, in regard to my OCD, what part of my conscious experience is causing me to be so intensely preoccupied with certain things? Have I triggered, within my body, some sort of protective mechanism inducing these compulsions?

I’m inclined to explore my own thoughts, and ask why? Why do I need to turn my morning alarm off and on twice before resting my head at night? Why am I so preoccupied by the order of my grocery list? Why does something like mismatching undergarments seem to throw off my whole day? Why can’t I just let it go??

Could OCD be, in some cases, a conditioned response to a time when we felt like something relative went wrong? Could that have sent a message to our body & mind to remain occupied or to deal with things a certain way, compulsively, for our protection or ease?

Learninggnm.com states this important piece, that there is a fine line between obsessive compulsive behavior and addiction. What uniquely defines compulsive behavior is the drive to relieve anxieties; addictions, in turn can become compulsions when they’re driven by relieving anxieties or psychic distress… To me, this definition of compulsive behavior, with emphasis on relief of anxiety, only further expresses that we can take control over these thoughts, by working to understand our anxieties, and to remain present.

There are many ways we can practice mindfulness and bringing our awareness to the present moment. I’ve written before on the importance of finding tools that work for each individual—we are all so different in what we need and what makes us comfortable. Some things that have felt transformative for me personally: box breathing, EFT (tapping), and yoga—really settling my awareness into my limbs and muscles. Some other common tools: naming and listing details of surrounding objects; feeling a part of the body that feels stable—like maybe your bum seated in your chair, or feet firmly on the ground…even holding objects that bring joy or are associated with positive memories (anchors) can be an incredible tool for grounding, and bringing us more positively into the present moment.

If you’re someone who also identifies with compulsive behavior or thoughts, I invite you to explore…do you have any mindfulness practice(s)? What works for you to bring yourself into the present moment when you may be drifting? And can this be of service to you when compulsive thoughts are taking control? If we create our own reality, and OCD is largely caused by a projection of our being beyond the present moment—to future anxiety and imagined discomfort, I believe we can take control by coming back to an embodied experience of here and now 🤍